Adieu@浪漫主义伙伴

Dear friends,

If you don’t already know, I am leaving at the end of the month to migrate to Australia for personal family reasons.
I have been trying to convince myself that leaving shouldn’t be so hard. Sombre it may be, but it doesn’t have to be a tragedy or melodramatic. If you never left anything or anyone there would be no room for the new. According to the binary thinking of nationalist rhetorics that view emigration in terms of quitters and stayers, I am definitely a quitter. Undeniably, to move on is an infidelity—to others, friends, colleagues, family, to the past, to old notions of oneself. But perhaps every day should contain at least one essential infidelity or necessary betrayal. It would be an optimistic, hopeful act, a guaranteeing belief in the future—a declaration that things can be not only different but better.
Therefore I am exchanging my 6 by 4 windowless office space that doesn’t overlook the beautiful ALC balcony garden, for a spot of green in a backyard somewhere in Melbourne where there will be draughts, cold chills and the occasional bush fire. I look forward to my move with some excitement and a little trepidation. At least, one might say, it is better to fear things than be bored by them, and life without new challenges is a long boredom.
Thank you for your friendship. I appreciate the chance corridor chats, the balcony rendezvous, the hail-fellow-well-mets, the smoky pow-wows. Let’s keep in touch; you can email me at razif_bahari@hotmail.com after the 28th. Wish me luck!

Best wishes

Razif

*忙得焦头烂额的日子，收到Razif的告别书。白天，所有感触都被一种自以为专业的理性思维压抑。夜深人静再读，突然，这些文字变成蔷薇、变成精灵，和着眼泪在胸口慢慢灼热。他的自由和勇气，我们只能偷偷羡慕。
曾经某些午后，我们围着荷花缸，赏花看鱼，他坐在围栏边抽烟斗看他的书。觉得他像年轻的海明威，有武士的气魄，却有文学家的气质。
谈开了，原来我们共同拥有Geylang Serai的童年记忆。岛国的变迁，的确在我们这代人心里留下很深很深的遗憾。偶尔，就站在荷花缸边跟Razif聊这些美丽的遗憾。
走或留，已不再是关键。我们浪漫主义的伙伴，SL与我相视无言。